Welcome to our first interview and what a beauty it is, for it is the one, the only, our very own, Improsarrio Alexander (Salamnader) Chard. Its too hard to explain the nickname, but if anyone really wants to know then please direct your queries to Improsarrio Avena (The Hat) Manser-Wallace.
Alex’s bio is posted on the crew page of our website, here, therefore I can brush past that section of the interview get right to it. All that’s left for me to say is enjoy.
Lets crack on shall we…
When were you happiest?
As a child growing up in Indonesia but to make that exclusively my happiest moment would be to exclude the many things and people that make me incredibly happy now.
What is your greatest fear?
Mortality and time have begun to freak me out.
What is your earliest memory?
I must have been two or three and it was my mum rubbing eucalyptus oil on my chest after I had a bath.
Which living person do you most admire?
i really admire my lady. she’s super cool
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Laziness…so so lazy..even answering these questions is a struggle.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
self indulgence and having no humility
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Geez I ‘ve had many. So I say to this; I have had many, laughed at all, remembered none.
Property aside, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
My first car, which my dad also paid half for.
What would your super power be?
Changing into animals. Then I could see as a dog if licking your own balls is all its cracked up to be.
hmm, annoying wankers that annoy me for no other reason other than being an annoying wanker and papercuts.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I’ve never disliked anything too much. My concave chest used to embarrass me a little but now I understand its advantages. It can be used as a soup or salad bowl and is amazing at holding a fruit punch.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Probably Marion Cottilard or Eddie Murphy.
What is the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
When I told a teacher in high school that when I was born my mum thought she had to poo or fart and I came out, the teacher said, ‘I guess that’s way your brown’. haha got to love some casual underhand racism.
Biting my bloody fingernails.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
I’ve done it once before and i’ll do it again; dressing as Amy Winehouse.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
I’m not going to let any pleasure make me feel guilty.
What do you owe your parents?
everything. probably life is a big one and on a more materialistic note, money. Lots of money.
What does love feel like?
like a victoria sponge. soft and spongey on the outside and creamy on the inside.
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
I would have an open invite, BUT, i would only let it the first 40 people that can either make me laugh or tickle my interest some how at the door. (disclaimer: ‘tickle my interest’ is not any sort of sexual innuendo)
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
Melodie – I’m sorry I ate your chocolate.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Awesome, cool etc. All the ones that display my higher grasp and wide vocabulary of the english language.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Victorian Tourism Centre – In Melbourne. Call centre job called calling people selling them dodgy holidays. Demons job. however I came across brilliant surnames like; Blood, Milkins and Poon.
When did you last cry, and why?
Not so long ago. Why? Refer to my fear.
How often do you have sex?
…
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Probably endeavouring to be more healthy.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
6 years, still going strong!
What keeps you awake at night?
Trying to find the right position to sleep.
How would you like to be remembered?
I’d like to be remembered as that guy from that thing.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Sometimes it just easier to laugh and move on.
Thanks Alex, and thank you, you beautiful people for reading. See you soon for the next Scene It…?
Neil, Neil, Man Of Steel x x x